"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman.

"If we take matrimony at it's lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police."
Robert Louis Stevenson.

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
Lilly Tomlin.

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns.

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde (...more Oscar Wilde Quotes).

"My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman. Still, I've got another three goes."
Sally Poplin.

"Mom & Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three."
Billie Holiday.

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."
Ogden Nash.

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.