"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat."
Fran Lebowitz.

"I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child."
Dan Quayle (...more Dan Quayle Quotes).

"Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'."
Joe Namath.

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
Bernard Manning.

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet."
Bill Cosby.

"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'."
Steven Wright (...more Steven Wright Quotes).

"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Emo Philips (...more Emo Philips Quotes).

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins."
Josh Billings.

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."
Groucho Marx (...more Groucho Marx Quotes).