"Don't bother discussing sex with small children.
They rarely have anything to add."
Fran Lebowitz.
"Having a family is like having a bowling alley
installed in your head."
Martin Mull.
"Childhood is that wonderful time of life when
all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath."
Richard Zera.
"The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old
is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old."
Jean Kerr.
"My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house
all day waiting for her breasts to grow."
Bill Cosby.
"No wonder people are so horrible when they start
life as children."
Kingsley Amis.
"There are only two things a child will share willingly;
communicable diseases and its mother's age."
Benjamin Spock.
"My unhealthy affection for my second daughter
has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally."
Evelyn Waugh.
"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or
they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my
daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now
go back to sleep.'."
Joan Rivers.
"The baby is fine, the only problem is that he
looks like Edward G. Robinson."
Woody Allen (...more
Woody Allen Quotes).
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