"When you've told someone that you've left them a
legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once."
Samuel Butler.
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to
tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while
you're down there."
George Burns.
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried
three husbands and two of them were just napping."
Rita Rudner.
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things
that can be done as easily lying down ."
Woody Allen (...more
Woody Allen Quotes).
"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting
for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity
suit."
George Burns.
"I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible.
It keeps changing all the time."
Greer Garson.
"At my age flowers scare me."
George Burns.
"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at
my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."
George Burns.
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to
have face-lifts until my ears meet."
Rita Rudner.
"My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed
on his tombstone: What are you looking at?"
Margaret Smith.
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