"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather,
on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
Woody Allen (...more
Woody Allen Quotes). "The report of my death was an exaggeration."
Mark Twain (...more
Mark Twain Quotes).
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I
was sixty-five I still had pimples."
George Burns.
"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation
over the estate."
Ambrose Bierce (...more
Ambrose Bierce Quotes).
"It's funny how most people love the dead, once
you're dead your made for life."
Jimi Hendrix.
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon.
That's when it's time for my nap."
Bob Hope.
"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."
George Burns.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean
I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those
flies and death and stuff."
Mariah Carey.
"There are worse things in life than death. Have
you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
Woody Allen (...more
Woody Allen Quotes).
"They say such nice things about people at their
funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine
by just a few days."
Garrison Kielor.
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