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: Home : Funny Quotes : Business Quotes : Doctor Quotes
Funny Business Quotes

Business & Professional Quotes
Funny Quotes and Humorous Quotations from The Comedy Zone.
Funny Doctor Quotes
Funny Quotes
<< Back to the Funny Quotes Index
 

"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."
Walter Matthau.

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined."
Samuel Goldwyn.

"A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy."
Joan Rivers.

"She got her looks from her father: He's a plastic surgeon."
Groucho Marx (...more Groucho Marx Quotes).

"No-one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish."
Kin Hubbard.

"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."
Steve Martin.

"Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down."
Dick Sharples.

"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge."
Spike Milligan (...more Spike Milligan Quotes).

"A psychiatrist is a man who goes to a strip club and watches the audience."
Merv Stockwood.

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.

 


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