"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I
couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have
his head examined."
"A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him
to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy."
"She got her looks from her father: He's a plastic
Groucho Marx (...more
Groucho Marx Quotes).
"No-one can feel as helpless as the owner of a
"First the doctor told me the good news: I was
going to have a disease named after me."
"Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down."
"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep
it in the fridge."
Spike Milligan (...more
Spike Milligan Quotes).
"A psychiatrist is a man who goes to a strip club
and watches the audience."
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims
so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by
their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they
don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist