"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
Douglas Adams.

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
Charles Lamb.

"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock."
Orson Welles.

"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
Mark Twain (...more Mark Twain Quotes).

"The definition of a consultant: Someone who borrows, your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege."
letter in the Times newspaper.

"In the business world an executive knows something about everything, a technician knows everything about something and the switchboard operator knows everything."
Harold Coffin.

"The first rule of business is: Do other men for they would do you."
Charles Dickens.

"Few great men would have got past personnel."
Paul Goodman.

"When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of this mess I am in now he thought for a long time and said, 'Yes, death would help'."
Robert Morley.