"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
A Congressional Candidate in Texas.

"A fool and his money are soon elected."
Will Rogers.

"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
Robin Williams.

"Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in."
Harry S. Truman.

"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done."
Fred Allen.

"Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"
Tom Lehrer.

"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
James H. Kabbler III.

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago."
Dan Quayle (...more Dan Quayle Quotes).

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers."
Daniel J. Boorstin.