"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
David Daye.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry.

"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot."
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.

"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan.

"They who drink beer will think beer."
Washington Irving.

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Ernest Hemingway (For Whom the Bell Tolls).

"I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
Noel Coward.