"An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from but not enough to lend to."

"An ambassador is a person who, having failed to secure an office from the people, is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country."

"A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat."

Peace (n): In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate."

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyse his delusions is called a philosopher."

"A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student."

"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Saint (n): A dead sinner revised and edited.

"An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop."