"I like to reminisce with people I don't know."
"I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to
take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per
hour. The harmonica sounds amazing."
"I live on a one-way street that's also a dead
end. I'm not sure how I got there."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe
lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and
almost went back in time."
"I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that
said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went
outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars.""
"I think God's going to come down and pull
civilization over for speeding."
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it
was a poem about everything."
"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking
that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go
so fast."
"I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but
I don't have that much time."
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