"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"Go, and never darken my towels again."
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under
adverse conditions - the curtain was up."
"I read in the newspapers they are going to have
30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday
from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate
America if they started at 6:30."
"From the moment I picked your book up until I
laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I
intend reading it."
"I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the
receipt."
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop
me, because I'd like to hear it again."
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
"My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty
days hath September' because it actually tells you something."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter
running."
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