Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you
the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.
Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little
paper boat and sail it down the table.
During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important
point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important),
make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm.
Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves.
Thank them for coming.
Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In
time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just
a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly
crazy and everybody knows it.
Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an
infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the
(male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave
Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to
clarify difficult points.
When there is a call for questions, lean back in your
chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly,
and say, "Well, here's the way I see it, J.B..." (or
any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually
Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching
you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.
Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the
meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold
paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes
a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts.
Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously,
and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!"