Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.

Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.

Keep at least five cats in the car.

Stop and collect roadkill.

Stop at the green lights.

Go at red ones.

Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

Wear a Chicken suit.

At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.