Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner
are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and
heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick
during Christmas dinner.
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after
she threw out your Elvis 45's.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your
You've been married three times and still have the same
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
right off it's wheels.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
Your sister is the third generation of women in your
family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as
you keep it in the family.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green,
Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is
a law against it.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than
Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She
got to readin'.
You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of
the major food groups.
You think genitalia is an Italian airline.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
table in front of her kids.
You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends
that don't drink.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth
than your wife.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans
You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.