DAD - Son, come in here, we need to talk.
SON - What's up, Dad?
DAD - There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you
do it?
SON - I don't believe; if I understand the definition of "scratch
the car"; that I can say, truthfully,that I scratched
the car.
DAD - Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the
car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How
can you explain the scratch?
SON - Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection
of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take
the car out last night, I did not scratch it.
DAD - But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you
back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway,
heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine
the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes
or no, did you scratch the car?
SON - Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove
I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean
did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier
statement, that I did not scratch the car.
DAD - Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car
into the mailbox?
SON - Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car
into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car,
and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though
that was clearly not my intent.
DAD - So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?
SON - No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back
to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.
DAD - But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did
get scratched as a result of this contact?
SON - Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.
DAD - So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch
the car?
SON - No. No, that's not correct. Your question was "Did
I scratch the car?" From a strict legal definition,
as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not
scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely present
when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when
you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally
correct, although I did not volunteer information.
DAD - Where in the heck did you learn to be such a liar?
SON - From The President of the United States.
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