Q: Why did the guru refuse Novocaine when he went to his dentist?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication.

* * *

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

* * *

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
Nurse: No change yet.

* * *

Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
Doctor: A shoebox.

* * *

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?
Doctor: No, throw them away like everybody else.