There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end
of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies
decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president
of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a
Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur
Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's
amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues
ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, than neither
will I."
* * *
An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a
bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way
buddy you're too drunk."
A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms,
again he slurs "give me a drink."
The bartender says "No man I told you last time you're
too drunk"
Five minutes later the guy comes in through the back door
and orders a drink, again the bartender says "You're
too drunk"
The drunk scratches his head and says "Damn I must
be... the last two places said the same thing."
* * *
One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender
for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple
more drinks, the bartender gets worried. "What's
the matter?" the bartender asks.
"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the
guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31
days."
The bartender thought about this for a while. "But,
isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked
the bartender.
" Yeah, except today is the last night.
* * *
Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning
to display an ugly side. An unescorted female sat down
beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey! How about
it babe? You and me?"
As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you
sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have
an extra two dollars."
She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What
makes you think I charge by the inch?"
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