After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into
a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his
wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The
wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract
the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with
some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going
crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the
wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest,
powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running
down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the
bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony
bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate,
he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and
with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed
it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms
and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony
bird! The shelf!"
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished
it in seconds.
"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't
attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So
she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual,
sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she
exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony
bird!"
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony
Bird, my foot!"
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