Submitted By: (Louis Greenwood)
This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive
me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if
he would like to confess his sins and the man replies
that he used the "F-word" over the weekend.
The priest says, "Oh ok, just say three Hail Marys
and try to watch your language.
The man replies that he would like to confess as to
why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and
tells him to continue.
"Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies
instead of going to church."
The priest says, "And you got upset over that and
swore?"
The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On
the first tee I hooked my drive well left into the trees."
The priest said, "And that's when you swore."
The man replied, a little testily because of the constant
interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the
fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had
a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit
the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried
up a tree."
The priest asked, "Is that when you said the 'F-word'?"
The man replied, "No, because an eagle then flew
by and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons and flew
away."
The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that
when you swore?"
The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over
the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball
and it landed within 5 inches of the hole."
The priest screamed, "Don't tell me you missed the
f***ing putt!"
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