saldana1
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Jul 8, 2006, 6:55 PM
Post #1 of 1
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Fart Cure # 36
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Nancy, a 10th generation Bostonian, and Pasquat, an immigrant from the Basque region in Spain, had been married for thirty-two years. It had been a surprisingly smooth affair - Pasquat was industrious and provided well; and Nancy, was the epitome of the doting mother and wife. The major trouble spot in the marriage was Pasquat's penchant for extremely loud and disgusting farting every morning as soon as he woke up. No farmhouse rooster had ever discharged his duties as faithfully or as loudly as Pasquat.
Each morning, Nancy was dismayed by Pasquat's revolting reveille, and she was always quick to admonish Pasquat, "One of these days, you're going to blow your guts out!" Pasquat's retort was always the same, "In my country, it is regarded as a thing of beauty!"
One Thanksgiving morning Nancy got up early to cook the turkey for the usual family gathering. As she looked down at the turkey's innards and entrails that she had just removed, she had an idea...
Nancy took the turkey entrails and guts and walked upstairs to her bedroom, where Pasquat was still sleeping soundly. She carefully pulled down his shorts and stuffed the turkey guts inside them. She smiled and went back downstairs to finish her work.
A few minutes later, she heard Pasquat wake up with his usual "Sonic-Boom" fart, immediately followed by a blood-curdling scream, and Pasquat's pleading, "Oh, Jesus, No! Jesus, please, please, no!". She laughed as she heard him run into the bathroom.
A short while later, Pasquat came down to the kitchen, sweating and still panting from the scare. He looked as if he had seen the Devil himself. She tried to hold back a smile as she asked "What's the matter, dear Pasquat?".
He replied "Honey, you were right! I blew my damn guts out! It was horrible; but by the grace of God and a can of WD-40, I was able to put most of 'em back in!"
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