Joke of the Day:
From the Comedy Zone Joke Files
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly." The Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man'".
"OK,", said the man, and entered the house.
Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1....Large rock on chest.".
'Well, that's pretty crappy,' he thought. 'If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about.'
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.
As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2...... Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration , he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the wall that read: "Chinese Torture 3....Right testicle tied to bed post."

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Silly Fact of the Day:
George Washington left no direct descendant. Though his wife Martha had four children by a previous marriage, Washington never sired a child to continue his family line.

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Joke of the Day:
From the Comedy Zone Joke Files
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly mad now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so mad that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?"
The bird said, "You know."

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Silly Fact of the Day:
U.S. Congressmen expressed surprise on learning in 1977 that it takes 15 months of instruction at the Pentagon's School of Music to turn out a bandleader, but merely 13 months to train a jet pilot.

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