I'm not a comedian really, so I'm not all that qualified to help but here are some tips I've picked up from those who are through the course of running this site:
1) Study other stand up comedians routines. Watch them over and over until you work out what makes each joke/segment funny, then practice it yourself.
2) Timing is really important when delivering a joke, even the joke about.... ....timing! Practice this.
3) Keep notes. Write down things that you think might be funny as they occur to you.
4) when you've got enough notes try and put together a small routine (say 5 minutes), then practice it on anyone who'll listen, friends, familly, the dog and prepare yourself for their really honest feedback!
5) Repeat steps 1 to 4, slowly building up your confidence as you go.
There's loads more of course, but that might be a good few tips to get you going.
Anyone more qualified to respond, please don't let me stop you. I wouldn't stand on a stage and try and make hundreds of complete strangers laugh every night. Stand up comedians are all insane!
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